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I See Those Judgy Eyes

I See Those Judgy Eyes

Photo by Joshua Castillo.

Photo by Joshua Castillo.

When a stylish mom walks into the room the fierce scanning begins.

"She must have a nanny."

"She's not up with her children all night." 

"If I had her money I'd look like that too."

"I'm not as superficial as she is."

"I'm not starving myself; it impacts the quality of my breast milk."

The point of this article is to remind you to STOP.

Those reactions are taught over many generations of women, and they serve absolutely no value. 

What do I think when I see a put-together mom in all her cute, stylish glory?

I usually think and tell her, "Oh my goodness, that is what I feel like on the inside!" 

Most of the time, I relish in her beauty, attention to detail, and fantastic style. I let her awesomeness radiate joy in my life. If she looks fantastic, it only adds "flavor" to my world. 

By complimenting her, I allow my daughters to see the infinite images of womanhood. 

I want my daughters to discover a vast range of choices, styles, and versions of beauty that exist in the world. I have given compliments to moms in 9-5 attire, goth wear, wedding party wear, cosplay, etc. If she has taken time to think of every part I acknowledge her efforts. 

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This simple action makes both of us vibrant and alive. 

The quick connection makes me feel I have someone new in my village.

Stylish mom is not my competitor; she is my peer in all the madness of early childhood. 

If nothing else, I consider her "uniform" helps her, inspires her or drags her through the day just as much as my "uniform" does for me.

So stop your little judgy voice and think bigger.

The mother in the cat eye with matching purse and three-inch heels may have the answer to a teething toddler. She may know the best place to buy eczema cream. She may also be the one to help you when you are about to snap. 

If you are a fancy Mom reading this, go out and make the day amazing, one great outfit at a time. 

Joshua

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